


and never an umbrella

by TheDragonofHouseMormont



Category: Charmed (TV 2018)
Genre: Deviates From Canon, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Happy Ending, Introspection, Niko centric, deviates from the end of 1x20 "Ambush", self-care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 22:00:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19385455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDragonofHouseMormont/pseuds/TheDragonofHouseMormont
Summary: Niko Hamada's life has been turned upside-down for the second time in two years. But this time she's determined to figure things out on her own.





	and never an umbrella

**Author's Note:**

> So this follows Mel telling Niko the truth, but deviates from canon in that, instead of Niko getting a nosebleed and ending up in the hospital (and all the apocalypse stuff that follows), Niko gets to take the time to heal from what's happened.  
> Title from a line from Sabrina - "And another thing: never a briefcase in Paris, and never an umbrella."

The sun peeks in around the edges of the curtains, illuminating the room like a cheap haunted house. Niko sits up, her eyes fixed on the generic painting of a European beach, barely visible in the dim lighting. Why do motels always have such confusingly detached artwork? This is Michigan. 

It would be easy to lay back down and close her eyes, to think of brighter things or books she read once and enjoyed, and to let sleep overtake her. But the stuffy warm air of the motel room is beginning to be nauseating, and suddenly she feels desperate to be outside. 

And it’s not so difficult to let routine overtake her instead. Her feet carry her into the bathroom, her hands reach familiarly for her toothbrush. The tiny tube of toothpaste reminds her of the differences, though. She had to pick it up at a convenience store when she couldn’t take the one that she and Greta shared. Conversations still need to be had, so Niko quickly squeezes toothpaste on her brush and drops the tube to the counter so as not to think about them. 

Clothes are easy to pull on as well. She hadn’t packed much, and the whole thing feels like a race now, eager to get out of these four walls. She ties her hair back into a ponytail, realizing as her hands go through the motions that she hasn’t actually done so for a few months now. When its done, her hands itch to reach for her old glasses, but they hadn’t made it into her bag when she packed. Grabbing the handle and yanking the door open, sunlight pours into the room, drowning the dim corners in a way that earlier light had only hinted at being able to do. She stands in the doorway, glancing at her car as she checks - wallet, phone, keys, room key-card. As she feels the last two next to each other, feels the apartment key squished between car and motel room, she decides that maybe driving isn’t all that necessary today. Walking’s nice. It’s a lovely day. 

She sticks to the sidewalk, skirting around the parking lot and out onto the main street. It could almost be like a vacation if she wasn’t already so familiar with this town. Her mind flips through options of where she can walk to before remembering that there’s a park nearby. It’s only about ten to fifteen minutes of passing by old houses and quiet streets before she reaches it. The park looks wonderful, filled with sunlight as it is. There’s grass and trees, and benches circling a large pond. 

Niko strolls over to a bench, sitting down just as a duck dives below the water in front of her. She closes her eyes, trying to feel the sun. Her fingers tap on the worn wood of the bench. She’s here; now what? 

She pulls out her phone, staring at the screen. Mel would answer if she called, she’s certain of it. And it would be good to hear voice - Mel might even know what to say to make this anxious, sinking energy dissipate. But Mel’s the reason it’s there in the first place. She’s the one who caused it.

Niko unlocks her phone and opens her contacts. Her thumb hovers above Greta’s name. Greta had seen her through worse, had helped her survive and pull through the breakdown two years ago. She locks her phone again, slipping it back into her pocket. It would be unfair to Greta to turn to her now. But more than that, she’s leaned on Greta _so much_. Too much, maybe. It made sense to lean on someone when her whole world was falling apart in ways that weren’t even understandable. It made sense for someone to help her through her trauma, but maybe Greta was right. Maybe Niko stayed with her because she was there, because it was easy. 

They had two more years together that they weren’t supposed to have. In a way, maybe that was a gift. They weren’t a bad two years, even if they began with something broken. Even if Greta always made Earl Grey in the mornings and never realized that Niko hated it. 

But, Niko thinks, it’s time to do this on her own. She’s not sure she knows what it’s like to be alone, to piece everything back together by herself. What might it look like? What might  _she_ look like, when she’s rebuilt and made whole by her own hand? 

She takes a deep breath, fixing her gaze on the pond in front of her. She would have to have a more substantial conversation with Greta soon. It was time to let go. 

Two more ducks swim into view, seemingly gliding effortlessly on the water. A dog barks nearby and she turns to see it running happily across the park to its owner. Behind them a few children play what looks to be tag. 

Niko had known, of course, that many people believed in magic. It isn’t uncommon. But now she  _knows_ . Magic is  _real_. There’s something more to the world than she had previously understood. It’s hard not to be a little in love with it, sitting here on this bench. Even if it’s hard, too, not to be a little afraid. There are ducks swimming and people playing, and underneath it all the world has shifted into a view she didn’t know could be clearer. 

She doesn’t pay attention to how long she sits on the bench, feeling the slight breeze against her face, but eventually the anxious, sinking feeling gives way to a hungry feeling and she realizes she skipped breakfast in her rush. 

There’s a cafe across the street, and she stands up to walk to it. 

A bell hanging from the door dings and she opens it and steps inside. A woman with a black apron tied around her waste approaches. “How many?” she asks. 

Niko hesitates, her words like a traffic jam on her tongue. She takes another breath before managing, “One. It’s just me.” 

The woman leads her to a table by the window and hands her a menu. It’s only a few minutes before a waitress walks up to the table and takes her order of a coffee and a sandwich. The minutes pass in silence as she watches the street through the window. When the food arrives, she stares down at the sandwich without moving. Finally, she lifts it up and takes a bite. As she swallows it, some feeling of comfort washes over her. Like here she is, taking care of herself. Her world has been pulled and shifted and torn from under her, but she’s going to be healthy. She’s going to figure this out. 

-

When Niko opens her eyes this time, the sunlight is still filtering into the motel room around the curtains, but she doesn’t lay there wondering what to do, doesn’t stare at generic paintings, doesn’t consider trying to go back to sleep. She gets out of bed and heads into the bathroom to get ready for the day. 

Like the day before, the alarm hadn’t been set, so it’s still later in the morning than she might normally get up. But normal went out the window when she found out two years of her life had been magically rewritten. She figures she’s allowed a few mornings of sleeping in. Soon enough she’ll have to get back to her in-progress cases, but she figures she’s allowed a few days off as well. 

She hops in the shower. And when she realizes that she’s been going through the motions of showering and not paying attention to whether she’s doing any of them effectively, she slows down, scrubbing until she can focus on the feeling of soap on her skin. Until she can actually register the temperature of the water. 

Outside the motel room and in the sunlight, Niko glances back and forth between the car and the sidewalk. She could go walking again. Or she could go somewhere else. Pulling the keys out of her pocket, she can’t miss catching sight of her apartment key. The pang of guilt is still there, but it’s less than it was the day before. She heads to the car. 

Driving is good. It requires focus. If she’s paying attention to the road and her speed and making sure that she’s always using appropriate signals at the appropriate time, she doesn’t have room to feel anxious about her life and the world and how they’ve both shifted. 

Niko drives until she’s downtown. The Hilltowne Art Museum catches her eye. She pulls into the little parking lot on the side and walks up the steps to the entrance. The sounds of the road quiet as the door falls shut behind her, overtaken by a low murmur of museum visitors. She walks up to the desk. “Just one ticket please.” The words still feel slightly off, like they aren’t hers quite yet. 

After the woman behind the desk hands her the sticker she’s to put on her shirt as proof of admission, she offers an informational pamphlet. Niko turns it down. The museum isn’t big, and though it’s been several years since she last visited, she’ll find her way. 

She wonders if it hasn’t really been several years. Did she visit in the two-years-that-aren’t? Was this something taken from her too? As she steps into the museum proper, though, the thoughts fade from her mind. The sunlight is soft as it falls into the room through protective shades, lines of it painting the wooden floor beneath her shoes. 

She passes portraits of men working at desks, their forms hunched over paper in candlelight. There are portraits of people drinking in darkened bars - mostly with humans, but once with a skeleton. Paintings and paintings of flowers in spring. 

Conversations fade in and out of her awareness as she passes other visitors, but she doesn’t focus on any of the words they say. 

But then a painting catches her eye. It’s of a woman, unclothed, sitting with her back to the viewer. Niko pauses, her eyes roaming over the woman’s face, turned to look over her shoulder. The brush strokes seem to catch her mood so well. The woman looks pensive, contemplative. Maybe even a little angry. Maybe she’s annoyed about being observed. 

What would Mel say about it? The thought comes unbidden, and it takes Niko a full two seconds to realize she doesn’t know. She can picture Mel standing next to her, smile wide and ready to speak. But her mind can’t move past that moment, can’t put together the words that Mel might say. 

And it occurs to Niko that maybe some part of her, somewhere really deep inside, knows. There’s a part of her that knows Mel, that recognized her that first time she saw her at The Haunt. A part of her that knows her moods and opinions as well as she knows her smile. It’s just a part that’s silent, that’s stuck, skipping like a record that can’t move to the next song. 

Maybe the painted woman’s face is defiant. Daring the observer to acknowledge their observing. Niko moves on to the next painting. 

Two hours later, Niko steps back out into the Hilltowne sun, the warmth catching on her skin after the air-conditioned halls of the museum. She walks down the stairs to the sidewalk before catching sight of familiar brown hair. 

“Niko?” Maggie asks, walking up to her. “I didn’t expect to run into you here…” she looks up, glancing behind where Niko’s just emerged from. “At the museum.” 

There’s a question in her tone that Niko elects to ignore. “Just enjoying a day off.” 

“Oh, that’s great!” Maggie says in a rush, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “So, you’re okay?” She tries to say it like a statement. 

“I’m fine,” Niko tells her, and she puts as much reassurance into the response as she can. She wonders for a moment why she’s trying to reassure Maggie Vera, whom, in this timeline at least, she barely knows. But Maggie’s always seemed sweet. 

“That’s great,” Maggie says again. “That’s good. M— My sister— My sist _ers_ were a little worried, but they’ll be glad to hear you’re okay.” 

“Great,” Niko says without much enthusiasm - she’s not sure at all how to feel about it. “Well, it was nice running into you.” She nods to Maggie before turning around and heading to her car. 

-

Niko slices open the next box, watching the tape split beneath the blade. It’s nighttime already, so much of the day gone, and she pauses, setting the box cutter down on the floor to look up at the blank walls of her new apartment. Only the living room light is on, casting an orange glow on her surroundings. 

The thought comes, unbidden, of what Greta’s doing back at the apartment they shared until this morning. What must it be like to still be there? With all the empty spaces left by another person? 

Niko tries to push the thought away as quickly as it comes. It sounds too much like she’s a ghost in Greta’s life. Like she’s a ghost in others’ lives. There and gone, defined by empty spaces and half-formed apologies. 

Maybe they can reach her with a oujia board. 

The corner of her mouth tilts up and she holds back a hysterical giggle. It’s absurd. But Niko wonders, she has to wonder, is that what happens when someone erases two years of your life and rewrites them as something different? Does the past version of you die? 

She can’t know exactly what it must be like to be back at the old apartment now, the one that she and Greta shared. To have someone just pulled from your life like that. But she can imagine how it feels. Niko had packed up her things while Greta was at work, figuring it would be easier on both of them if Greta didn’t have to stand there and watch her pack. She’s alone now, too, unpacking her things into this new, small apartment on the other side of town. It’s not so bad, though. More than two weeks of learning to be alone, and Niko feels like she’s really beginning to understand it. 

The doorbell rings, startling her. She gets up, walking to the front door to retrieve the pizza. Box in hand, she heads back to the living room. There’s a table, but it’s covered in boxes, so she leans against a wall and slides to the floor. No sofa yet; the one she shared with Greta is still back at Greta’s apartment, and Niko is content to leave it there. She’ll get her own soon enough. 

It reminds her of when she was nineteen and newly moved out, living with a roommate to afford rent. But they couldn’t afford a sofa, especially since beds work well enough for sitting on. 

Fear flickers through her that she’s reverted back to this younger self.  _No_ , she thinks, she isn’t who she was at nineteen. She isn’t who she was three weeks ago, either. This is something new. A new life, born from the old one. 

Her first life was ended by Mel’s hand, but the second one Niko ended all on her own. Now she’s building a new one, with new furniture to match. 

Niko sets the slice of pizza back in the box and pushes herself to standing. She looks around, searching for a specific box. It isn’t in the living room, or the little dining area, but she finally finds it in the kitchen. Cutting it open, she digs through its contents until she pulls out a white candle. She sets it on the kitchen counter, returning momentarily to the living room to retrieve the lighter from her purse. 

As she lights the candle, she acknowledges that she doesn’t know how magic works. She doesn’t know if dead selves can be contacted. But she’s pretty certain they can be honored. 

-

Niko folds the umbrella closed as the ticket line outside the movie theater finally brings her under the protection of the covered entrance. “One ticket for _Sabrina_ , please.” She pays and accepts the ticket, stepping to the side as she fits the change back into her wallet, and the wallet back into her pocket. The theater has its monthly classic film night tonight, and Niko thought it was as good a reason as any to spend a Saturday night somewhere other than her apartment. 

Just as she’s about to head inside, a familiar voice behind her says, “Three tickets for _Sabrina_.” 

Niko spins around to see Macy standing at the ticket office, Mel and Maggie chatting beside her. Mel looks up, catching her gaze like she’d already known she was there, a sad smile on her face. Maggie notices the action, her head turning to follow Mel’s line of sight. 

Whatever awkwardness is hanging in the air, Maggie is apparently all too happy to ignore it, heading immediately toward Niko. She stops a couple feet away, bouncing nervously on her toes. “Here to see _Sabrina_?” she asks, smiling. 

Niko nods, holding her closed umbrella in front of her. 

Mel and Macy, tickets in hand, join them at the entrance. “Would you like to sit with us?” Macy asks. Her eyes are kind. 

Mel interrupts quickly, assuring, “You don’t have to sit next to me.” 

Niko thinks through the options, and decides that turning down their offer and sitting somewhere else in the theater that they’ll all be in is somehow worse than accepting it. She curves her mouth into a polite smile, “Sure, I’ll join you.” 

When they take their seats, Niko sits next to Maggie, with Mel on the other side of her little sister. It’s pleasant, as the film starts. Maggie lets out a little “aw” here and there at the young and awkward Sabrina, as well as at Sabrina’s dog David, after they return from Paris. 

Then the human David sits on the champagne glasses in his back pocket, and Mel laughs loudly. Niko can’t ignore her after that, though she refuses to take her eyes off the screen. Mel makes a “hm” of complaint when Linus kisses Sabrina, laughs softly at the sight of Linus with the rim of his hat turned down. She takes a deep breath when Sabrina discovers the two boat tickets, and laughs loudly again when Linus punches David and David rolls absurdly across the table.

When the credits roll, Niko gives in, glancing quickly at Mel’s face. But Mel’s staring at the screen, her eyes glued to it like the film might still be playing. 

Maggie shifts in the seat next Niko, catching her attention. “The three of us are going to dinner, want to come?” 

“Yes,” Niko says before she gives herself the chance to think about it. 

It’s still drizzling when they exit the theater, and Maggie joins Niko under her umbrella, Mel and Macy sharing another one. “There’s a restaurant the next block over,” Macy decides for them, she and Mel leading the way. 

“I can’t say I understand Linus’ appeal,” Mel says. 

Macy shakes her head. “I don’t know, I liked him well enough. He was… sad. Lonely. He just didn’t understand it until it was nearly too late.” 

“If Harry had agreed to come with us,” Maggie pipes up from beside Niko, “He’d probably say something right now about how Humphrey Bogart was an amazing actor, and it’s like blasphemy to speak a word against him or something.” 

Macy laughs as she nods in agreement. 

Niko smiles, thinking how easy it is to walk with them and listen to them, even if she doesn’t really have something to add at the moment. She knows, like she knew in the museum, that part of her is recognizing when they were friends in the two-years-that-aren’t. But she thinks it must be more than that, too. Something natural. Something that brought them together in the first place. Something that drew her to Mel the real first time they met. 

Mel pushes open the door of the restaurant as they close their umbrellas. The four of them are seated at a booth, Maggie next to Niko again, Macy across from her, leaving Mel sitting at a diagonal. They pick through the menu like four friends on a Saturday night, and Niko thinks this may be the most at peace she’s felt in a very long time. 

Less than a minute after they place their orders, Macy sits up straight on the bench, placing her hands on the table in front of her. “I think I’m going to go… wash my hands.” She looks diagonally across the table at Maggie, whose face Niko can’t see. 

“Me too!” Maggie announces, bouncing to her feet. 

Mel has to stand up to let Macy out of the booth. “Why don’t I join you,” she says, trying to adopt some of Maggie’s enthusiasm. 

“No!” Macy says quickly. “You can… later. I’m sure we’ve got plenty of time before the food gets here.” And with that, Macy and Maggie disappear in the direction of the bathroom. 

Mel sits back down, her shoulders hunched in defeat. “I’m sorry,” she says, looking up at Niko. 

Niko shakes her head softly, “Don’t worry about it.” 

“I’ll just…” She gets up to leave again. 

“No, wait!” Niko nearly shouts. It works. Mel freezes where she is like time’s stopped. Like Niko has that kind of power. 

Mel sits down again. “So, uh, how about that movie?” 

“I’d never seen it before,” Niko admits. “But I liked it.” 

“Yeah?” Mel sits up straighter, like she’s locking into the conversation. “It’s a little annoying, though, how many rom-coms are about the couples lying to each other, especially the man. Like, Linus didn’t have to manipulate Sabrina like that, but he did.” 

Niko thinks through her words carefully, staring at the wood grain of the table before looking back up at Mel. “He was wrong. He was doing what he thought was best for everyone involved, and he was wrong. But Sabrina forgives him, in the end.” 

Mel catches her eye, quickly, before glancing away again. “Yeah?” 

Niko knows Mel’s just seen the movie, that she stared at it even after it had ended. “Yeah,” she whispers. 

A smile flickers across Mel’s face. “Too bad we didn’t get to see them in Paris together. To see them open and honest with each other, someplace healthy. Good.” 

“I bet it’ll be something,” Niko tells her. “They’ll be wonderful together.” 

Maggie and Macy walk back to the table, interrupting the conversation. Niko leans back in her seat, just then realizing that she’d been leaning forward, into the space above the table. 

“What’re you two talking about?” Macy asks. 

“The movie,” Mel replies. She turns back to Niko, the corners of her mouth curving up. “This may not be Paris, but I dare you, after dinner, to go outside in the rain with me without an umbrella.” 

Niko smiles. “Challenge accepted. 

**Author's Note:**

> The painting Niko focuses on in the museum is inspired by Berthe Morisot's work.  
> The film they see is Sabrina (1954) starring Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart. (Same film as where the title comes from.)


End file.
